Dream on
by seiji mikura
Summary: Like hell I won't! Kyon here, that Haruhi's just doing something weird.. Huh? What's that Koizumi? It's my fault?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Sorry, I know it's a bit crappy. I am badly angsty at the moment and I just had to get this off my chest. Other stories will be continued after the angsty storm has passed. If any of you know a quick way to get rid of this damned angst, lemme know, 'kay? It's eating at me.

†x

Something was weird. It wasn't déjà vu. It wasn't some huge, glowing giant that kept destroying things. It wasn't some sudden off-season sakura trees. It wasn't a talking cat. Heck, it wasn't even Haruhi. Because the weird thing was, Haruhi _wasn't _at school. It was as if she never existed.

"Kunikida?" the teacher took the attendance.

"Here."

"Mikura?"

"Here."

"Taniguchi?"

"Even if I didn't want to be,"

"Kyon?"

"Here."

I sighed. Even the teacher was calling me that now. But that wasn't the problem. The teacher continued calling names, and announced that we were all present. I looked behind me to absolutely make sure before I'd say something I'd be sure to regret. There was no chair, no desk, and no annoying Haruhi.

So what would it be? Ask the teacher, and have to live through the constant teasing it could probably bring if it turned out that I'm the only one that didn't know that Haruhi had maybe transferred? But no, that would be impossible. Miss Brigade Leader would not transfer without telling her precious Brigade first. Which leaves the other possibility, sadly, unknown to me, but not to them. They would know.

†x

When the bell rang for lunch, relieving me from what had to be the hardest math test that seemed to have been made by a sadistic math teacher on crack, I made a beeline for the clubroom.

"Oi, Kyon, you on a diet or something?" Taniguchi called after me.

I ignored him.

Isn't it weird, when you get so used to something, even if you don't like it? Some part of me, maybe the part that still has common sense, still rejected this routine, but the other part, the one that had gotten used to manual labor, constant abnormal or paranormal activity, general weirdness, or simply Haruhi, carried me to the clubroom, and fought what little resistance my common sense had put up. I was half-expecting to see Haruhi in the room, probably sitting on the desk, staring at the window, lamenting on how no one was coming to the SOS Brigade, or maybe, however small the possibility was, that this was some elaborate plan that involved blackmailing the teachers and students just to give me a prank. Whichever it was, I knocked on the door, not wanting to see something I shouldn't.

"Come in." came Nagato's voice.

"Kyo~n-kun!" Asahina-san greeted me with teary eyes.

"Wh-what is it, Asahina-san?"

"I believe I can explain." Koizumi said, after a sip of tea. But the usual smile of obvious plasticity wasn't there. He meant business.

"What is it, Koizumi?" I demanded, and sat down. I looked around, to see if there was some camera of some sort, or any bugging devices.

"Unfortunately, this is not a prank, nor an action of our respective factions." Koizumi said.

"Then what is it? There's something really wrong here, as far as I can tell. Wait, where's the computer Haruhi got from the Research Society? Where are the costumes for Asahina-san's cosplays? Where's the whiteboard? Where's all the junk she put here? Where is she, anyway?" I saw how empty the room was. If what Koizumi said was true about their groups not being involved, then what exactly is going on?

"Suzumiya-san has disappeared from our sight." Nagato said unblinkingly.

"I can tell. So?"

"Allow me to elaborate. She has severed connection. No one, except the four of us, currently has memories of the previous her that existed as Suzumiya Haruhi, a first year in North High. She still exists, in a location I believe Nagato-san knows of. The fact that we still exist proves this. However, the fact that _you _still remember is a mild surprise. Perhaps it is because of you meeting her three years ago, and her not knowing it was you." Koizumi gestured to the place near the window where the bamboo plant should've been.

"And why isn't she here?"

"She is conducting an experiment. Why? I believe it might be because of you. As usual."

"..And that experiment is..? Explain that before you put the blame on me."

"A girl's feelings are something I am not used to explaining about. I thought you might have realized by now. Asahina-san, could you please tell him?"

"U-um! I-it's classified information!" she said.

"I thought as much. The problem now is this: should Suzumiya-san's experiment prove her right, our very existence might be erased completely." Koizumi sighed.

"And why would that happen? A Haruhi who doesn't even know we exist can't possibly erase our existence!"

"She is subconsciously aware, not entirely. Would you like to know what we have concluded her experiment to be?"

"All ears."

"Based on what we have found out of the current Suzumiya-san, and the situation we are in now, the SOS Brigade does not exist, for it did not exist until you suggested it to Suzumiya-san, however, an alien, time traveler and esper are located close to Suzumiya-san. It is likely that someone like you will suggest it to the current Suzumiya-san, the formation of such a club. Do you understand?"

"Basically, it's another version of us?"

"Correct. Now if Suzumiya-san finds the current situtation much more satisfactory than the previous one, what would happen to us?"

"No way. Not possible. She wouldn't."

"That is why she is only semi-aware of our existence, so that if her experiment fails, her consciousness will snap back. She probably thought: 'what if I never transferred to North High?'."

"Then what about the Tanabata three years ago?"

"It probably didn't convince her that much. Now then, something all three factions are willing to help each other on: recovering Suzumiya-san. The three of us though, me, Nagato-san and Asahina-san, think that this operation needs only one person. You, obviously."

"And what do you think I could do?"

"What only you could do, of course."

What only I could do? Would that be to bring Haruhi back? Which would be how? Sure enough, I seemingly ended the endless summer she put us through, I got us back from the other world, and apparently, I'm the only one who can object Haruhi's insane ideas. So how is that suppose to help us get her back?

"What are you thinking, Koizumi?"

"We have agreed upon sending you to where Suzumiya-san is currently located, whereupon, I'm afraid, you'll be on your own."

"It won't kill you to tell me what you're thinking, you know."

"Ah, but you already know what to do. You've been wanting it for a while now, right? If you didn't, if you didn't even care about Suzumiya-san, then why would you bother? Why would you bother even coming here in the first place?"

"Who knows."

"Tell us if you're ready."

What _do _I want? There's something I've been wanting to say, but what? And about that thing that I've been wanting to do, what is it?

If you think that very fast flashbacks of someone you're apparently close to happens when you think of something unthinkable happens only in TV dramas, think again. It was as if someone actually took the time to compile all the memories I have of Haruhi, put it into a DVD with a play speed of a trillion kilobytes per second, and play it in my head.

_The god-like creature, or whatever Koizumi called it drew closer. I pulled Haruhi into a kiss, and suddenly.. Ooof, I fell off my bed._

The weird flashbacks stopped there.

"It appears you have reached a realization of some sort." Koizumi smiled.

"So that's what I'll have to do? Kiss Haruhi?"

"Excuse me? I believe I did not hear you." Koizumi said, only this time his voice sounded rough and deeper, like..

"I'll kiss Haruhi!" I stood up abruptly, feeling slightly dazed. I was back in the classroom, face to face with Okabe-sensei. Someone wolfwhistled.

"It seems that you're awake now." Okabe-sensei said. The class laughed.

I looked behind me. And yes, this time, there was a desk, a chair, and a very embarrassed-looking Haruhi. I sighed. Would I be relieved that wouldn't have to actually do it, or be as embarrassed as Haruhi was? Either way, when the bell rang, I didn't stick around to find out. For some reason, though I knew I would regret it later, I made for the clubroom, dashing ahead of Haruhi.

†x

I knocked on the door.

"Come in." this time, came Asahina-san's voice.

I sighed, and sat down. Asahina-san gave me some tea, which, for some reason, failed to calm me down like it usually did.

"Hm? Where's Suzumiya-san?" Koizumi asked, moving a chess piece. It didn't take long for Nagato to make her move, and Koizumi made another.

"Long story." I sipped some more tea.

"I'd like to hear it."

"Nah, it's uh- You'll get to hear it when she gets here, anyway."

At that moment, the door burst open, revealing a seemingly upset Haruhi. She barged in without a word, and sat down.

"No, I think I'd rather not." Koizumi said, and moved out of a possible checkmate.

†

"That's it for today. Last person out, lock the door." Haruhi picked her bag up, and barged out.

"I really think you should say something, though. I wouldn't want to deal with closed spaces today, seeing as it's a Friday." Koizumi said.

I chased after Haruhi. I had to make sure, no matter how stupid it would make me look.

"Oi! Haruhi, wait up!" I said.

She slowed down, turned around, and stopped.

"What?"

"You're.. real, right?"

"Huh? Are you stupid?"

I pinched her cheeks, and got to carry her bag in return.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Juust checking."

"What was.. that ... that nonsense you said in class about, anyway?" Haruhi said, avoiding my gaze.

"Uh. Errr, it was a line in a manga my sister had me read.."

"Oh..."

I had a feeling that fib would have a very bad aftereffect sometime in the near future. Wait.. It's just the two of us.. And that dream _had_ to mean something. Something aside from the fact that I don't get sleep at night..

"Haruhi."

"What?"

I pulled her into a kiss. Whoa, intense déjà vu right there. But for some reason, I didn't care. She didn't respond, but that was fine with me. I pulled back.

"Haruhi, I think I.."

"You think what?" Haruhi said, only her voice was a bit more high-pitched, like.. _Oh, crap.._

"I.. I.."

"Hurry up, Kyon-kun! It's time to wake up!"

Huh..? Kyon-kun? I got up, and found that I was lying on the floor, hugging my pillow. The alarm clock wouldn't stop ringing, and my sister was jumping on my bed.

Another dream..?

"Oi, pull my hair real hard, would you?"

"Sure?"

"Just do it."

My sister pulled my hair. Reaally hard.

"Oww!"

Yep, I'm awake.

x


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay.. Now that I've slept for a nice, long, uninterrupted time, I think I can let Kyon have fun.. I think. My apologies if the previous chapter was a bit hard to understand. ^^;

Kyon: What do you mean, 'I think'?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

†x

"Kyon-kun! Hurry up!" my sister whined as I hurriedly tossed my pillow and blanket on the bed.

How does she expect me to hurry up?

I've just woken up from a dream in a dream, in another dream! Wouldn't that be enough of a reason for me to stay in bed at home all day? It evidently isn't, though, and even if it was, I'm sure my sister wouldn't understand. As soon as I had realized that I was seemingly awake, I shut the alarm off, and told my sister to get out of my room. While it would be nice to calmly narrate what happened while I was getting ready for school, time was running, and I had to move. Which brings us back to the fact that I've apparently woken up from a dream in a dream, in another dream. Well then, how is someone to move fast while being paranoid? The shock from what I had my sister do to me didn't quite help, seeing as this could be a realistic dream. Oh well. At least the worst case scenario hasn't happened yet.

What's that, you ask? Probably has something to do with Haruhi on a rampage, having finally discovered her powers.

After making sure that my sister had her friends with her on her way to their school, I made haste, and went to school. School, of all places.

†x

"Yo, Kyon! What's with the sleepy face, hm? Tried too hard to dream about girls?" Taniguchi said, that apparently being his idea of a greeting. I sighed and put my shoes in the locker.

"Someone who says that has an experience of his own," I said, too tired to come up with a better answer. I headed to our classroom. Taniguchi caught up with me.

"No, seriously. What's with the face?"

"Dunno."

"And the hair? Yours is definitely a turn-off, man."

"Huh?" I looked at a window nearby. He was right, my hair looked something like what cavemen had for hair before hygiene was invented. No, in our case, discovered, maybe. I ran a hand through my hair, and remembered that I haven't fixed it since I asked my sister to pull it.

"If you think you can get girls with that easygoing attitude, you're dead wrong,"

I stifled a yawn, and just shook my head slowly. I have something else to worry about, other than hard to understand females, the best example being Haruhi. Speaking of our little brigade leader, what're the odds that she's NOT the reason why I'm having those dreams? Hmm, slim-to-none?

I opened the door, and found that- yes, there was a desk behind mine, a chair as well, but no Haruhi.

Ah, whatever. She might just be late or absent. Nothing that threatens the rest of mankind.

Hopefully.

"Oh, what's this? Resident weirdo Suzumiya has yet to arrive?" Taniguchi said, voicing my thoughts aloud. Okay, that idiot being aware of Haruhi probably means this isn't one of those dreams. I sat down, and stared outside, grateful for the placid, inactive morning. I sighed.

"Oi, Kyon, don't tell me- The reason you're so tired and why Suzumiya's probably late or absent-", Taniguchi said, sounding like a detective who's just found out the identity of the killer. Well then, idiot detective, let's hear it. No- since it's Taniguchi, it'll probably go like-

"- You two did _something_ last night!" he concluded.

I knew it. I take it back – saying that his stupidity could save the world – I take it back, and I say that his stupidity can cause Apocalypse. The few people in the classroom stared at me and gasped.

"Like I said, the one who says that has an experience of his own. Geez." I said as detachedly as I could.

"No, unfortunately, I've yet to experience it- hey!" the idiot exclaimed. And with that the intrigued classmates went back to what they were doing.

"Kyon! Koizumi-san says he has something to tell you." Kunikida said, and went to his chair, revealing a smiling Koizumi in the doorway.

Ah, annoying, so annoying.

"Ah, yeah." Well, this is probably it. The explanation to whatever it is that's happening. Wonder how he's going to start it.. .Would it be like: 'I believe we have a problem', or 'Thanks to Asahina-san/Nagato-san/you, I have confirmed that,' or something. Well then, let's hear it.

I stood up and approached him.

"Good morning. Oh, what's this?" he said, looking at me from head to toe.

"Get to the point, will you? What's been going on?"

"Well, actually, I am not quite sure as to what has been going on, but there is one thing that has been ascertained." he yawned, and stretched a bit.

"Which is what? You don't look like your usual _cheerful_ self as well."

"To put it simply, we are currently-" he was interrupted by the first bell.

"Currently what?"

"I believe the matter can be discussed later. So then." he waved, and walked towards his classroom.

Not that worried, huh? Well, it's not that serious, then. Probably.

†x

I took my time, and – hmm, 'enjoyed' the whatever activity it was that prevented me from going to the clubroom – In other words, class. That person who has yet to show up – Miss Brigade Leader, that idiot who could change the world inside-out, and yet be completely unaware of it – obviously is the cause of this. That much I'm sure of.. But.. What that Koizumi said in my dream..

"_Why? It's because of you. As usual."_

What's that supposed to mean? I'm the reason..? Wait, didn't he say that before? That it was my fault why the club was formed in the first place? True enough, I _did_ suggest it, but..

"Oi! Kyon! Stop that ball!" some guy on our team said. What was his name again? Seto? Shinji? Ah well. Just as I was considering on remembering his name, I felt something remotely hard connect with the back of my head.

"Ow!" was all that I was able to say, because I finally remembered, not just the guy's name, but what we were doing as well.

It was our practical exam in P.E., and we were playing soccer against the school's soccer team with me as the goalkeeper, and that the guy's name was Seiji. Well.. I _did _stop the ball.. I massaged my head a bit, and felt a slight lump where the ball hit me. I tried to throw the ball back, and fell on my backside in return.. I heard the teacher blow his whistle, and then there were voices.. Geez, couldn't they keep it down..? And then, I was floating..

†x

I opened my eyes. There was a bright light that was aimed at me, and the voices were still there..

_What the hell..? _

As I tried to recall what in the relatively sane world had happened, I tried to move around. But..

_What the hell?_

I looked at my left and right, and saw that I was strapped to a bed – No, not a bed.. More like one of those steel flatbeds they use to dissect humans.. Suddenly, there was a shadow over me.

"Ah, awake at last." a strangely familiar voice said. Where and when had I heard it before.. Tch, as if it mattered, as the owner of that voice turned the light off, and my eyes, which could only see my sides, adjusted, and let me what was in front of me. That person.. Asakura Ryoko! She stood in front of me, in a lab suit. Oh, and don't forget the scalpel. The sharp and pointy-looking-probably-stainless-steel scalpel.

"Y-you're.. alive..?"

"But of course."

"Where am I..?"

"Quite inquisitive, aren't you? Well, I suppose it'll kill some time. You are currently in an area with it's space-time continuum severed from where your friends are.." She smirked.

I sighed. Then, that means..

"Nagato-san won't be able to reach you here as well." Ryoko said simply, as if she had read my mind.

"And I'm here because..?"

"I've been curious as to why a normal human like you can get Suzumiya Haruhi to use her powers. Hmph. All data about you says you're nothing special, but I'm not so sure. That's why, I'm afraid to resort to such primitive measures." She adjusted her gloves, and pointed the scalpel in my direction.

I closed my eyes and braced myself.

"I knew it. I knew you weren't normal, Asakura-san!" an annoyingly familiar _other _voice said. I didn't dare open my eyes, but I could tell it was _that_ person.. Haruhi!

"Eh? How did you enter this space? I sealed it off!" a surprised Ryoko said.

"Huh? This space? Do you mean the Biology Lab? Well, the door was unlocked.. Anyway! So you're actually a cannibal!"

"Nonsense! Tch, moving on, let's see what you'll do, Suzumiya Haruhi, if I'll slice your little boyfriend up.."

"Don't you dare! Kame-hame-haaaaaa!"

"Damn, at the very least, I have to-"

This is.. a dream, right? It has to be.. Or what if I was dreaming, and recently woke up? Which is which? Damn.. This is not happening! Not happening! Maybe if I count slowly to ten and open my eyes, this'll all disappear.. One.. Two.. Three.. Fou- I felt something cold slide across my neck, and some liquid dripping down my throat. Was that the scalpel? Was it blood? I opened my eyes, and abruptly sat up. Wait, sat up?

I looked around me and saw that I was in the infirmary. The cold thing that ran across my neck was an ice cube, and the 'blood', was the water from an ice bag.

"My, it seems that you are awake." I looked beside me and saw Koizumi sitting on a stool, to his left, Nagato, and to his right, Asahina-san.

"K-k-kyon-kun.. Are you alright..? You were thrashing around in your sleep.." Asahina-san asked.

"Well, more or less.. Well, go on, tell me what abnormally paranormal activity's going on." I answered Asahina-san, and directed the question at Koizumi and Nagato.

"Ah, I haven't seen that movie yet. Maybe I'll watch it after you get us out of whatever is going on." Koizumi said.

Wait, was that sarcasm? His accent didn't change at all, so maybe he was serious. Then again, a serious Koizumi would mean business.

"Please explain it a bit more thoroughly." I said, running a hand through my hair, and with a painful sting felt, remembered the reason I'm in the infirmary.

"Do you remember? What you and Suzumiya-san did after we filmed the film's special extras?" he began slowly.

"A-ah, well.. After we locked the club room back, we went home."

"And how did you get to the station?"

"We walked."

"It was raining, correct?"

"Yeah, and ..?" I was getting impatient.

"At that time, was it you or Suzumiya-san who possessed an umbrella?"

"We both didn't have one, but she apparently took one from the faculty storage, and we used that."

"And the one who had the umbrella afterwards, considering Suzumiya-san's personality was..?

"Me. She ran off after telling me to return it." I sighed at that memory.

"Naturally, a person who has been wet and had nothing to keep herself warm and dry as she traveled would be..?"

"She wasn't sick the next day."

"Or so you thought. People like Suzumiya-san do not easily reveal their feelings.."

"Okay, so she's sick. So what's been happening?"

This time, it was Nagato who spoke.

".. Dream cycle.."

†x

A/N: *sighs* Sorry for the bad references. Apparently, my sense of humor regarding this story is as dry as ever..


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: TMoHS OVA trailer = epic! Can't wait..! I haven't read the novels yet, so I'm more than ready to watch it!

†x

I sat on the bed, scratching my head carefully to avoid touching the spot where the ball had made contact with my head. I took a deep breath and thought about what had transpired, and what the heck was currently going on.

_Geez, endless summer, movie-turned-real-and-somewhat-turned-back, a remake of the world, and now a dream cycle?_

"So what's this dream cycle thing?" I said, aiming the question at the three people. Well, it was probably the best way to ask, anyway. Nagato would most likely say something understandable only to her, Koizumi's explanation would be somewhat comprehensible, if not entirely vague, and Asahina-san's would be the usual: "Classified information!"

Well then, let's hear it.

If anything, my head hurts just from thinking, and it would probably hurt worse if I formulated my own theory on this bizarre phenomena. _What was that? Tch, I should really stop thinking- for a little while._

"I assume that you have already experienced it – That is, waking up in a dream in another dream, to put it simply." Koizumi began.

The other two were silent. Nagato, well, probably because she's Nagato, and Asahina-san – Was it my imagination, or were her eyes struggling to keep themselves open? Obviously, everyone was tired, and I would be hearing an explanation from Koizumi.

I nodded, too tired and dazed to do anything else.

"The current situation, while rather annoying, merely poses a threat to the number of hours we can spend sleeping peacefully. However, if it escalates, that is to say, gets worse, I think-nyaa!" Koizumi said, his voice suddenly becoming a bit more high pitched at the last word.

"W-what the?" I said, seeing cat ears appearing on his head, and his outfit suddenly changing. He was then wearing a black polo and matching black pants. He looked like some character from a shojo manga my sister would read.

"O-nyaa. I believe this is what I mean." Koizumi the human with cat ears said. He then started to lick his hands, which for some reason weren't paws.

"We believe that Suzumiya-san has entered a state in which her idea of reality is somewhat altered, and thus, unconsciously uses her powers to change reality in accordance to what she sees 'real'. Such a state in which the entirety of this reality is not changed completely.. We believe her to be dreaminnyaa~" he continued.

"..And the 'cycle' part?" I said, not quite weirded out just yet.

"Let's say you're playing an RPG of some sort. The time you sleep is your 'save point', and what happens after, that is to say your sleep, is the reality you experience after you save the game."

"No way.. Then, everything I'm dreaming of during that time is _real_?"

"Oh yes. Nyaa~ The time you wake up, therefore, is the part where you 'reload' the game, also resetting reality to the point where it was right before you slept."

I breathed a huge sigh of relief. _So that means I really didn't kiss her, right?_

A sudden burst of light that came from Asahina-san's direction interrupted my thoughts.

"Eeep!", I heard her squeal. The light faded away to reveal Asahina-san in her 'combat waitress' outfit. I was still taking in what had happened, when Nagato disappeared in a puff of smoke, and reappeared wearing a kimono, and toting a parasol.

"My, my. This is quite troublesome.." she said in a soft, but feminine voice. She started muttering something I could hear but couldn't understand, and then, all three of them were back to normal.

_Maybe she gets pissed off, too.._

"As you can see, the situation can still be controlled.. However, it seems that Suzumiya-san is quite unwell, for her thoughts are getting more and more random.. Ah, yes, I forgot to mention that while it may be true that Suzumiya-san is the one influencing our dreams, what we think, say and do in our respective dreams are entirely up to us."

_Then, that means.. I-_

This time, I was the one engulfed by smoke. I closed my eyes and covered my nose. The smoke then disappeared, revealing me in a.. An outfit similar to what Koizumi got.. I checked my head, and to my 'surprise', there was a pair of furry ears.. They didn't seem like cat ears, though.. more like..

I barked.

"Eh, a dog, huh?" Koizumi said, patting my head. I growled.

"Hey, Nagato, can't you change me back to normal too?" I said.

"Currently attempting to do so.. Analyzing current physical makeup.. Applying downloaded original composition.." She said, and in another puff of smoke, I turned into a human again.

_Geez.._

"Well then, any idea as to what could have triggered such a reaction from Suzumiya-san?" Koizumi added on a more serious note.

Silence on all sides.

"I guess we'll have to wing it, then." Koizumi finally said. He then took something out from his pocket, which turned out to be the "SOS Brigade Deputy Chief" armband. He put it on, and smiled, if you could call it one.

"Oi, oi.. Aren't you taking that position a bit too seriously?" I got off the bed, stood up, and stretched a few times. _Why do I feel so light all of a sudden? _

"Kyon-kun!"

Asahina-san squealed.

I was floating.

"PK-LT.." Nagato said, and pointed at Koizumi.

And Koizumi was pointing at me.

Had I not experienced something weirder than floating around because some self-proclaimed esper was pointing at me, I would have been hysteric. Oh yes, compared to most of what I've already experienced with this bunch, floating around is as normal me not doing homework..

"It certainly seems so.. It seems that I am now able to use my powers outside of closed spaces.." Koizumi said, sounding lost in thought.

_That's new.._

"Suzumiya Haruhi's normal thought process is currently being influenced by her imagination. Her distinction between what you humans would call 'reality' and 'fantasy' is rather blurred at the moment, and if you would notice, I am speaking more than I need to. That is also because of Suzumiya Haruhi.", Nagato said in a breath. She blinked.

_What the heck is Haruhi thinking..?_

"A-ano! Excuse me, but.." another voice said. I flipped over to see who it was. Apparently, this floating thing didn't limit how much I could move in thin air.

An orange-haired guy about my age was standing where Asahina-san should have been. I gasped sharply as I realized what had happened.

_No freakin' way!_

Asahina-san had turned into a boy.

"Well, well, well.. Pleased to meet you, Asahina-san." Koizumi bowed a little.

"Nice to mee- Ah! That's not- Ehhh? Wha-what should I do..?" the male Asahina-san frantically whined.

_I can probably take me floating around, but Koizumi having PK whatever, Nagato talking like some walking encyclopedia and Asahina-san.. No way!_

"That's nice of you," Koizumi said.

_Did he just read my mind..?_

"Oh yes. And I'm not liking these extra powers.." He examined his hands like they weren't a part of him, or something.

"Well, you can probably guess that I don't really like floating around." I said sarcastically.

"Ah, yes, sorry." He pointed at me again, moved the finger a bit, and then I was back on the ground.

"The distinction is still there, however faint it may be, and it appears that Koizumi Itsuki cannot read my mind." Nagato stated blankly.

"That's a relief.. Nagato-san, do you think you can do something about this?"

"Currently, there is only one solution: Suzumiya Haruhi's normal thought process must be restored. As of now, we are the only ones affected, however if she continues to think like this, I believe the world as you know it may be reforma- I mean, created anew."

_What is she doing? She's the one who said that Nagato is the 'indispensable, silent member', or whatever, and now she's.. Whatever she's thinking!_

"True.. But remember that she is also the cause of the existence of aliens, espers and time travelers.. Which means that she's also free to change things as she sees fit."

"Stop reading my mind. Anyway, she's dreaming, right? She _has_ to wake up sometime!"

"Well, who knows.. She might be awake, staring at the ceiling as she wonders about things.."

"We need to do something about this now." And by now, I meant now.

"Shall we go, then?", Koizumi asked us.

"Do you really need to ask?"

†x

By some freak coincidence, no one was there in the hallway, so no one noticed the male Asahina-san try to make her- himself as unnoticeable as possible. Needless to say, we got out of school without too much attention.

We went to Haruhi's house. We knew where it was, but we never actually went there before.

_Who'd want to go to her house, anyway?_

"How rude. I think it's a nice house.", Koizumi said, pressing the button on the gate.

"That's not what I meant.."

A female voice, thankfully not Haruhi's, came out of the speaker.

"Yes?"

"We are friends of Suzumiya-san, may we come in?" The usual Koizumi etiquette never ceased to amaze me. He could've been speaking to that.. Haruhi's mother, and he could still talk like that.

Well, whatever.

"Ah, just what she needs! I'll be there in a bit."

A woman who looked like she was in her mid-thirties came out and opened the gate.

"Come in, come in! She's still a bit unwell, so I'd really appreciate it if you cheered her up a bit.."

_Haruhi's mom? Doesn't seem to look like it.._

"Excuse me, Madame, but how are you related to Suzumiya-san?", Koizumi asked, as we made our way in the house.

He probably, no, obviously read my mind and probably read that woman's mind as well.

_That means we can talk to him without speaking.. Oi, Koizumi, why the heck did you ask that?_

"I'm Haruhi's aunt. Her mom and dad are still out of town, so I thought I'd take care of her." She smiled sadly.

"I see."

"Haruhi sure is popular with the boys, hm?" She led the way to Haruhi's room.

_She would be, if she were just a bit more normal.._ What I said out loud was:

"We're members of her club, actually."

"Oh, the SOS Brigade? Haruhi, your club's here to see you!" Haruhi's aunt knocked thrice on the door.

_Please don't let one of those god-things come out.. Don't let a sleep-deprived sick Haruhi come out, either.._ And, luckily, what came was:

"Come in."

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything." her aunt said, and left us with the terrible choice of opening the door or not. Koizumi turned the door knob. Slowly.

_What's with the suspense?_

I made for the door knob, and as if he had planned it, he took his hand away from the door knob, making me the one who opened the door.

_You..!_

I was just about to let him know how much of a jerk he was when something remotely soft landed on my face.

A pillow.

"Hah! Everyone, that's a lesson: Never underestimate your Brigade leader even if she's sick!", Haruhi said, and laughed arrogantly. Nothing out of the usual.

_Then, that means.. Oi, Koizumi, can you hear me?_

"_Oh, no... Not just yet, I think.. And please do not be surprised that I can communicate back. Although I have gained these powers, it seems that I cannot read Suzumiya-san's mind.."_

_Big surprise. I don't think anyone can._

"Why're you all so quiet? Anything happen at school?" Her voice sounded nasal, so she's probably been sick for some time.

"I got hit by a soccer ball." I suddenly blurted out. I don't know why I did.

"Maybe it hit you really hard. You seem like you don't have anything to complain about today. By the way, where's Mikuru-chan? And who's that guy?" she said, jerking a finger at Asahina-san.

_Geez, what do you think, huh?_

"Suzumiya-san, this is Asahina-san cosplaying as a male. We thought it would somehow cheer you up." Koizumi said, as if it were absolutely natural for something.. to change to something else.

"Eh? Pretty good job, Mikuru-chan!" She gave a thumbs up to Asahina-san, who could only nod her.. his head vigorously in return. S/he then gasped.

"A-ano.. Suzumiya-san, may I use your restroom?" S/he said.

"Hn? Sure, it's down this hallway."

Asahina-san darted out of the room, closing the door behind him/her.

_What was that about..?_

"_Asahina-san seems to be returning to normal. If we can fully restore Suzumiya-san's sense of reality, everything else will snap back into place."_

_There's not much of a problem anymore, right?_

_I have detected the presence of several enclosed spaces within a 15 kilometer radius._

_Great._

"Hey, Haruhi, you think Nagato is the silent, indispensable member, right?" I said.

"What kind of a question is that supposed to be? Of course she is! The SOS Brigade wouldn't be complete without her!" she declared.

"And Koizumi's the 'mysterious transfer student', right?"

"You're asking the Brigade leader too many questions!"

_We're not going anywhere with this.._

"_Then, shall you play along with Suzumiya-san?"_ came the simple reply.

_No way in freakin' hell._

"_Then please do something out of the ordinary. Destruction is taking place as we speak."_

I sighed.

"Permission to speak, Chief?"

†x


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Um, anon reviewer-san, the OVA trailer is somewhere on the net. It's based on the novel, and it's pretty much what I was referencing to in chapter 1, although subtly different. Y'know, alternate world by ******** (not giving spoilers as to who), and so on..

Disclaimer: I don't own TMoHS.

†x

It was probably the weirdest thing I have said today. So far, I guess. But somehow, it worked.

"Finally learning to respect the Brigade leader, huh? Very well. I'll listen to what you have to say."

_Oh boy.. _If someone had said that to you, would you blame me if I sighed for the hundredth time that day?

"Suzumiya-san, I am pleased that you are doing well, but I am sorry. I must excuse myself for now." Koizumi said.

"Huh? Sure, but why? Why?" Haruhi paused, and stared intently at Koizumi. "Ah! I know! There's a giant whatever monster thing out there, and you have to defeat it as a member of some random organization?"

I held back a gasp. Back then, when I tried tried to tell her about it..

_Hah, as if I'm going to believe that! Don't mess with me! Hmph!_

And an enraged Haruhi stomped her way out of the café that day, absolutely disbelieving the truth I had so blatantly told her. So why was she bringing this up now? _She is one messed up girl.._

"Absolutely correct, Suzumiya-san! I must take my leave now. Do get well."

_What's this idiot doing, agreeing to her?_

_I shall explain that later. Excuse me. Oh, and kindly do not refer to me in third person just yet._

_At least say it sarcastically!_

_I would not like to do anything that displeases Suzumiya-san. Well then, excuse me._

Koizumi made a little bow, and left, closing the door behind him. We were alone. The silence lasted a good thirty seconds, when the _Brigade Chief_ just had to puncture it. Bye-bye, sweet silence.

"Well? What're you going to tell me? It better be important!"

Oh crap. She actually remembered. Well, certainly, it hasn't been five minutes since I said that pride-degrading thing, but the egoist actually took that seriously? Ah well.

"Of course it is! I won't waste my time if it wasn't!" My words were tinged with sarcasm. Tinged.

"Well then, just so you know, you wasted five seconds on that unimportant statement!"

Her words, on the other hand, were _laced_ with sarcasm. I was pissed off at that, but I did have to buy time. Right. Get rid of my pride, or let the city get destroyed by some weird blue monster.

Great choices.

"Actually, Haruhi, I-"

The door busted open, with a female Asahina-san who fell face flat on the floor. _I'm caught between pity and amazement.._

"Asahina-san! Are you alright?" I helped her up. She was also in a normal.. Wait, why is she in her maid outfit? Well, this _is_ Haruhi, after all. But still, couldn't she go for one day without cosplaying Asahina-san? Geez. She stood up immediately.

"A-ano! I lost control of the door knob!" she sobbed, and made a frantic attempt at an apologetic bow.

_Is that really possible..?_

"Ooh, Mikuru-chan! You wore the maid outfit! Don't worry, it's okay."

"A-actually, I- um.. That is.. Er.. Surprise?"

"Well, at least you know how to please your leader! Unlike someone else here.."

"Ehehe.."

_Okay, I'll just pretend that I didn't hear that.. _Even my eye couldn't help but twitch. I turned to face them both. "Fine, I'll tell you, then! No, I'll tell you again!"

"What? Hurry up."

"Koizumi, Nagato and Asahina-san are-"

Three knocks on the door. "Haruhi, would you and your friends like some flying apples?"

_Flying apples..? She's kidding, right?_

Haruhi got up, and opened the door. "Ah, thanks, auntie!"

"Eat them before they fly away!" Haruhi's aunt said, and closed the door.

Okay. Okay. What's more surprising? Let's see.. A, Haruhi said 'thank you'? Well, not really. She might be oblivious to what other people think, and she might be bad at expressing herself normally, but she knows when she should be grateful.

B, Nagato's not doing anything? I mean, yeah, she is the silent character, and at least that's already normal – for her – but shouldn't she at least say something about the flying apples, or

C, Haruhi's munching on an apple with tiny wings?

"Hey guys, want some?" she offered the basket around, as if they were as normal as apples _without_ wings. Nagato, to no one's surprise, took one and ate it normally.

"Haruhi.. are you sure that those apples aren't genetically modified..?" I said, as she tried to get Asahina-san to eat one.

"What are you talking about? Of course they're not. Now, what were you saying? Say 'ahh', Mikuru-chan!" she suddenly stopped, fumbled inside her pocket for something, and brought a kerchief to her face just before she sneezed.

"Are you alright, Suzumiya-san?" Asahina-san said.

Haruhi neatly folded the kerchief, put it down, and put alcohol on her hands. "Tsk, tsk. I told you, right? Don't underestimate the Brigade leader! Even if I'm sick! Well, where were we? Oh yeah, say 'ahh'!"

_Are you sure..?_ She sneezed, and referred to her self in third person, and resumed trying to feed Asahina-san the flying apple. Most people would call that weird. I call that normalcy. Hey, it _is_ Haruhi.. and because it's her.. someone definitely has to tell her..

"Haruhi." I grabbed her by her shoulders. More déjà vu. I ignored it and continued. "Listen. Asahina-san is a time traveler, Nagato is an alien, and Koizumi is an esper."

"Eh, that nonsense again?" she took my hands off her, "It can't be that easy.. However, since it is your flimsy attempt to cheer me up, I'll overlook it this time." Haruhi then bit her apple.

Her wingless, normal apple. I sighed.

A sigh of relief, this time.

†x

That night, I slept peacefully. I knew I didn't have to worry about the probability of me waking up in a parallel universe, or something. Everything was fine, as long as Haruhi was.

†x

"Good job, I must say." Koizumi said, during our chess game. He moved another piece.

It was the day after, in the club room. Everything was normal now. Asahina-san, again her beautiful self, Nagato, silently reading books, Koizumi not being able to read minds anymore, and no more flying apples. Oh, and of course, Haruhi and her weirdness.

"Yeah, yeah. So, even if I'm pretty sure that I won't understand whatever the explanation is, go ahead and explain. I moved my bishop out of harm's way.

_I'm actually starting to like this game.._

"Suzumiya-san," he lowered his voice. Haruhi was at her table after all, making a fuss at the extremely low number of visitors to the home page. "I believe, experienced a state of emotional instability during her period of sickness. And sometimes, during sleep, I presume. And thus, as Nagato-san stated previously, her distinction between reality and fantasy, was blurred. I heard that there was a flying apple yesterday? What did it taste like?"

"I didn't eat it. And you're not answering my question at all."

"Would either of you like some more tea?" Asahina-san asked. She was, for obvious reasons, back in her maid outfit. Yesterday, she told us after, that when she had returned to being a girl, her outfit also changed. Haruhi _did _get her to cosplay. Unconsciously, but she did.

"Yes, please." both of us said. She poured a generous amount of it, and went to offer some to Nagato and Haruhi.

"Oh yes. As to why I agreed with Suzumiya-san yesterday about my being an esper?"

"Just say it. Geez."

"I told you this before. Even though Suzumiya-san says that she believes in supernatural beings, her common sense keeps her belief of such things where it should be. So, say someone like you were to suddenly say that such beings exist, of course she would not believe it. Reverse psychology. I thought you had already figured that out."

"Lucky, I guess."

"Or maybe.."

"Maybe what?"

"Suzumiya-san decided to return things to normal because you said so..?"

"Nah, that's impossible."

But since it was Haruhi, nothing was impossible.

†x

A/N: There you go. Finally. I thought the reason I couldn't write was coz I wasn't inspired.

Turns out I was in extreme procrastination mode. Ah well. I had nothing to do today, so here ya guys go. Pretty half-assed explanations, I know. =.="


End file.
